Perfect
by Ran Mouri
Summary: [OneShot] A week from graduation, I know he has a perfect future ahead of him, perfect like he is, how could I compete with that? YAOI TxF


**Perfect.  
**By Ran Mouri.

Was there a time I didn't love you?

... It doesn't really matter, I can't remember anyway.

I can't remember a time when I didn't have you by my side, supportive but silent. I knew I didn't have to speak, you just had to look into my eyes with those piercing eyes of yours and I would be at ease.

You understood.

No pretense were needed.

And I loved you because of it.

"So, they invited me to St. Providence for some try outs, it seems they are pleased with how I play and want me in their school. Mother says it's a good chance, what do you think?" You said one day, casually, as if discussing the weather. For you, it probably was nothing important, you usually got scouts on your tail, I did too, both of us were prodigies in our own right.

But this time it was diferent... I hadn't actually thought about it before, but that sunny afternoon it struck me with such a force I had to sit down.

We were going to graduate...

You'd take your own way...

And I'd have to take mine...

That sole idea scared me more than I dared to admit, not being able to see you on the courtyard, having lunch with the others or just passing by the hallways.

When had I become so dependent of you?

Why didn't I forsee it?

I had to stop it, I had to push you away before you got even deeper into my skin and breathing without you would be unbearable. I had to stop this dissease that was you, that blinded my judgement and made me weak.

I knew it when it all started, when I saw you for the first time that I would say good bye to you, my new, weird and mature friend by the time three years had gone by.

How short can three years be.

It had to be that I was just used to you, all week seeing you, it had to be that.

It had to, or I would go insane...

I could close my eyes and imagine how it would be from now on, you'd go to whatever school you thought would fit you best, and people would flock around you as they always did, asking for advice, some of you wisdom, for you had plenty.

And then you'd meet someone, a cheerful girl with long hair and a small waist, so pretty it would hurt to look at her smile, so perfect in everyway, just like you.

You two would instantly fall in love and be the perfect couple all would envy, you'd walk her home every day like you walk me, and then stop on the doorsteps of her perfect house, staring at eachother's eyes, she'd be lost in your beautiful eyes like I have found myself so many times. But, unlike me, she would voice her feelings openly, tell you how handsome you are, how much she loves you, how much you complete her and how she would do anything just to see you smile.

Because she'll be brave, not like me.

You, of course, would answer in kind and you both would kiss, she would have to stand in her tiptoes, because you would be so much taller than her, and she'll wrap her thin arms around your neck.

Then her parents will see you and smile at you, inviting you in, because they like you so much and are very pleased you love their perfect daughter so much.

No, that won't happen, I can see it, you are too much for a perfect and small girl.

You'll meet a handsome man in your school, most likely someone older. And he'll court you and chase you until you agree to be with him, and he'll take care of you the way I want to much, the way you deserve to be taken care of.

And since he's older he'll live by himself, and take you to his apartment, where no one would stare at you, because he won't want to share your beauty with anyone else, he'll hide you from the world like I imagine doing when you stay over. He'll lay you down on his enourmous bed and worship your pale body reverently, taking all the time in the world because he's sure you are only his, and nothing can part you two.

Then when us, old Seigaku Regulars meet you'll bring him so we can all see how happy you two are, Kikumaru will jump around and congratulate you, because that man is everything you need, he is open, caring and mature, he matches you so perfectly that even Momoshiro will be able to see it.

And we'll all have to smile and be happy for you.

But my smile will be fake, because I know he's better than I am, and you'd never love someone like me, with so many flaws you already left behind. I'll still eat ice cream like it's a secret ritual we both have while your perfect boyfriend takes you to expensive restaurants were people will stare at you and sigh in adoration. He'll ask you to move in with him in his house, in the best part of the city, and you'll be out of my reach.

And all I will have will be an ice cream cone and this lonely park where we are now, I will stare at my hand for hours, the same hand you hold when we walk, that will forever be a painful reminder of you, while you are worshiped somewhere else.

I have to push you away...

I can't let you do this to me...

I can't let you make me love you more than I already do, while you go away to your perfect girlfriend with loving parents, or your perfect boyfriend who treats you like a delicate flower.

Just a week away from graduation, and I can't enjoy it by your side. I know separation will hurt too much.

I have to do it now... Make you hate me so you never wonder what happened to me while in the arms of someone else. I need you to frown if we ever meet again, your smile would be torture, knowing it's not mine anymore.

I stand up.

"Uh? Are you ok?" You ask worriedly. Staring at me with those beautiful eyes... and I'm trapped again, I'm drowning in them and not wanting to get out. How can I say good bye when you look at me like that? Like I'm someone important that deserves your consern?

"I..." I swallow. You smile.

"You weren't listening, were you?"

I shake my head dumbly.

"As I was saying... St. Providence invited me to their school and mother was very happy, because it's a very important school. She scolded me quite a lot when I refused the offer." You sigh and lick some more of your ice cream.

I blink.

"You... refused? Why?" I ask, shocked by the nonechalant way you are expressing, is there any other school you are interested in? Why? Why are you torturing me with the answer?

"Of course I refused! I'm going to school at Kairen, just like you are." My shock must have registered in my face because your smile turns even kinder than before, your thumb strokes my hand gently and all the pain I have put myself through this time slowly eases away. "Why would I want some expensive or famous school, if Tezuka won't be there?"

That's all I wanted to hear, and you know it.

You always manage to say just what I need.

I pull you to my arms and hold you tight against me. Needing the feel of your warmth.

Slowly you wrap your arms around my neck and rest there, seemly happy with our proximity.

"You didn't think you'll get away from me, did you?" His voice is so soft, so perfect. I can't help it, I'm laughing.

"You condemned yourself, Tezuka, you are mine now." You say softly against my ear, and I shiver. "No one will be able to have you now."

I nod against your shoulder.

"As much as you are mine... No perfect high school girl... no handsome senpai will take you from me." I can sense you are confused. I don't care. "Don't ever leave me, Fuji."

Your piercing blue eyes stare at me before you nod.

No more words are needed.

I know how you feel, and you know how I feel. We'll stay together...

Everything is perfect now.

**The End.**


End file.
